O ESPERMA É SAGRADO



O padre João Pedro Stawicki, de Niterói, recusou-se a realizar o casamento de dois deficientes físicos, Pablo Damásio de Araújo, de 33 anos, e Cláudia Araújo Vianna, de 32. Pablo tem paralisia cerebral e Cláudia, déficit de aprendizado. Com o casamento já marcado, para dezembro passado, ao ir à igreja para pagar as devidas taxas, Pablo soube que o padre não faria a cerimônia.

Padre João devolveu a documentação, alegando que a moça era evangélica. Não era verdade, Cláudia apenas havia freqüentado cultos com uma tia, quando criança. Mas nunca fora evangélica. O zeloso sacerdote usou então de artilharia mais pesada. Disse que o Código de Direito Canônico não permite o sacramento para incapazes de procriar.

Padre João tem toda razão. O esperma é sagrado. Não pode ser desperdiçado. A propósito, em um debate no Orkut, um leitor me enviou esta bela canção dos Monty Python, do filme O Sentido da Vida.

Every Sperm Is Sacred

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
- Enviado por Janer @ 5:52 PM